Cousin Camp

The first time I heard about cousin camp was when my husband and I were newly married. We flew to Michigan to meet with his family at his grandparents’ cottage on the lake, all the cousins gathering together for a week of fishing, waterskiing and games of euchre just like what they had grown up doing in their childhoods.

We’ve kept the tradition going in our family with David’s siblings and the 10 (and counting!) grandkids. In the middle of every July, we meet up from our homes in SoCal, NV and TX for a long weekend for our own version of summer cousin camp.

We’ve done cousin camp in Tahoe, in Santa Barbara, at our homes in the OC. We’ve talked about going to Costa Rica and renting a big house with a private bus. We have big dreams of creating a family resort. But for the last two years, we’ve settled on glamping—low key, affordable, easy enough to do with a big group.

This year, we drove to the Palomar Mountains where we made s’mores, grilled burgers, and braved mosquitos. The kids decorated marshmallow shooters and had contests to see who could catch the most in their mouths. They wrote stories, painted rocks, and played Catan. We celebrated my mother-in-law’s birthday with a carrot cake from Martha Green’s, treebathed (at least one of us ;) ), and took family picture after family picture, all of the cousins in identical blue “Cousin Club” shirts, which they wore until three of the kids fell into the pond after a log walk.

It hasn’t always been easy, traveling with infants or making long drives with littles. The yurt was very, very hot and there was so. much. dirt. (And I did mention the mosquitos?) 

But was it worth it? One-hundred percent.

Favorite summer family tradition? “Worth it” moment? I’d love to know!

Summer Vacation

The sun sets earlier here.

I notice that because at 8:39 p.m. as I work in bed, I can see only the last parts of the burnt orange glow hovering above the hills across the street. I can hear the neighbor kids who are in their pool next door, and I realize I miss the hum of the cruise ship moving over the water as we sat outside our balcony room to watch the 10 p.m. sunsets.

The day after the big boys got out of school, we left for a two-week-long vacation. We flew to Seattle, traveled via cruise ship to Alaska, bussed to Vancouver (the trains won’t be running until the end of the year), then flew home to Orange County.

Since having kids, we’ve been almost entirely 3-day getaway people. Three days: long enough to do fun things, short enough to require minimal planning and no more than a weekend bag. Enough time to breathe different air, get a change of scenery. Not really enough time to shake you out of your routine. Just a little break.

When I left my full-time job in the spring of 2021, I envisioned wide open mental spaces, margin to the max. In reality, the school year that followed was chaotic: too many commitments, not enough bandwidth. Up until the plane left the runway, I felt like I was set to 2.00x speed, like the audiobooks that make sense to the listener once you’ve acclimated but that sounds incomprehensibly garbled to any passerby—didIremembertolockthedoorsconfirmationcodefortheexcursionpullupsforthetoddler—all in my head.

The tricky thing about vacation, of course, is that it’s still real life. You still bring along your anxiety over flying ever since that one rough landing that had luggage flying from overhead bins. There’s still laundry (when you only brought a carry-on each, and you had to pack bulky jackets and lots of layers for a 2-week trip). It’s still a frantic rush to get everyone on and off public transportation with rolling luggage and backpacks. There’s still sometimes too much screen time because you are pregnant and cannot walk around the city for hours on end. There are still emergency work calls (husband’s, not mine) punctuating the time. Still, just being in a new place infuses even the hard-ish things with a magical air.

From the beginning, we encountered delight after delight, even with the hiccups. The letterpress shop on the walk to our hotel. Brown butter popcorn in a pink foil bag. Rows and rows of fresh peonies at the market. Cold cherry apple cider. On the ship—the delight of post-dinner ping-pong games on the deck, an arcade next to the kids’ club, coffee delivery every morning, dessert after every meal: pina colada panna cotta, creme brûlée with berries, a chocolate tuxedo cake, unlimited ice cream. In Vancouver—the view of sunset over downtown from our hotel suite, a special spread of “sweet treats” before bedtime, the Japanese style wagyu hotdogs loaded with seaweed and fried onions. An impromptu date night to see Hamilton, showing at a theater just a two-minute walk from our hotel. The incredible maple walnut ice cream (My oldest son asking me, “Is this your favorite, Mama? Do you want Daddy and I to find it for your birthday?”). 

We spent hours between meals exploring the ship. I found a library (with a surprisingly great collection of books), and we discovered that the observation deck was the place to be for a late afternoon lunch of chicken salad croissant sandwiches, clam chowder and cocktails (or mocktails, for me), sun shimmering off the ocean. For the kids, the total novelty of getting pulled in a cart by Alaskan huskies and watching lumberjacks (“the engineers!” said my 3-year-old) fake-compete in a show was captivating.

Then there were the surprises. Chocolate covered strawberries delivered to our room! A pillow concierge! Mini robes and matching small slippers delivered to our suite in just the boys’ sizes. The full rainbow at dusk in Victoria. The funny bird that showed up on the windowsill of our hotel room on the 9th floor of the Fairmont Vancouver who “sat” just like a trained puppy for broken pieces of $15-a-bag vanilla caramel sea salt popcorn we bought at Pike Place Market.

For the first time in two-ish years, I made zero lists. I didn’t think at all about goals or plans for the rest of the summer or how we should celebrate our anniversary in July. Instead, I got lost in a novel, finished sudoku puzzles, and just sat, doing nothing but soaking up golden hour. Fourteen continuous Yes Days.

When our trip came to an end, I wondered, how can we bottle all of this up? The delights, the memories, the magic of the little things? What can we bring home? Maple caramels? A suitcase sticker from each city? New traditions? A refreshed sense of wonder? A different way of living? A fresh well of inspiration? The expectancy of wide-open days full of endless adventures?

Vacation was a glorious break from routine that reminded us to pay attention to our actual lives, to learn to appreciate the “first” things again: the boys’ first bus ride and sky train; their first little robes, their first 10 p.m. sunset. These are the gems, and it’s easier to see them when we are looking for them.

This vacation has spurred in us a new summer rhythm, a new beat, a reset, and for the rest of the summer, this is my takeaway (and maybe yours, too?)—Be on the lookout for new and amazing things. Delight in the days. Experience little joys and small surprises as daily gifts.

Not just coffee delivery to the hotel room door in the morning or a fridge in a lounge fully stocked with free boxed alkaline spring water and bottles of Perrier. But the small joys of the first vending machine popsicle (Spiderman, of course) of the season at our neighborhood water park. The joy of dinner with old friends in our backyard on the first night of summer. The everyday delight of peach bellini sparkling water over ice in a glass with a wedge of lime. 

The feeling that anything is possible.

A birthday collection of 35 lessons and favorite things

I turned 35 last month, and in the spirit of reflecting on the past year, I made a (long) list: 34 lessons and favorites/recommendations with one word to grow on.

Looking back … and looking ahead.

1. Lululemon Align leggings. These were the MVPs of 2021. In the spring of 2021, I left my full-time job/career to pursue new dreams and be more present for my boys, trading in business casual for a uniform of … athleisure. These leggings are my go-to day-to-day wear. If you ever see me in jeans on a weekday, it’s because I have a meeting that didn’t happen on Zoom.

2. Outdoor time. This was the year we joined the SUP club! We’re embracing the SoCal lifestyle and being more intentional about our outdoor time: at the mountains, on the trails, and in the ocean, all of it.

First surf lesson!

3. Minimalism. This book by Shira Gill is motivating me to make all the edits to our personal living space. A goal I had for 2021 was to completely organize and declutter our home, and we didn’t quite get there. One of my goal’s for the first 12 weeks of 2022 (see below) is to get completely organized—finances, belongings, business. Part of reaching this goal means buying a whole lot less (I’m considering buy days, where I only buy/shop on those designated days to reduce impulse spending/transactions to categorize) and using what we already have a whole lot more.

4. The 12 Week Year. The Go & Tell Gals team introduced me to this book via their newsletter, and I’m all over it. One thing that did not work for me last year was having too many big goals that weren’t realistic given my time (read: too many volunteer commitments, not enough childcare). This year, I’ve condensed, focused, and limited my goals to *hopefully* make more progress. I’ve also scheduled goal-free weeks and sabbatical time (the entire month of December).

5. PowerSheets. I use these alongside a day planner, and I love having the extra dedicated space to reflect, count the fruit, and keep track of habits. And of course I bought all the accessories—matching washi tape! stickers! All the planner products bring me so much joy, I can’t help it. P.s. they are all super discounted right now!

6. Charcuterie. Charcuterie boards blew up in 2021! I’m sure it’s a trend that will fizzle out eventually, but who knows? It’s hard to go wrong with meats, cheeses, and rosemary crackers. 

Dave’s birthday charcuterie board (i.e. our entire kitchen island).

7. Target gift card sales. I’ve learned this past year that it makes me so much happier to give gifts rather than buy things for myself, so when Target has their 10% off gift cards sales (usually November/December), my hubs and I swoop up the limit ($500 each), and they go a long way for birthdays, teacher gifts, etc.

8. Peloton. I know, it’s cliche. But I love having the workout option. I LOVE that I can track my minutes spent on it annually (shooting for 4,000 this year), and I love having the option to work out with friends (hello, Tues/Thurs 5 am club!). I’ve also been hopping on the bike while I listen to audio books (this one had me gripping the handlebars).

9. Birthday trips. For the last two years, the hubs and I have gone up to the Russian River Valley for the weekend of/before my birthday, and it’s been the best, most soul-replenishing retreat. This year, we stayed in downtown Healdsburg, walked to great restaurants and coffee right outside our hotel door, perused art galleries and stopped at the cutest baby shop to shop for a friend. We even went hiking before hopping on the quick flight back home. While we’re gone, the kids have the time of their life with Grandma (they still talk about it), so it’s a win-win.

10. I learned how to install a stair runner! I meant to write a blog post on this, make a reel, but then I semi-quit social media and got busy with real life, so we’ll just skip to the final product. Voila!

11. Sleep vitamins. I think the tryptophan in these gummies might be the magic ingredient that knocks me out. Or maybe it’s the “proprietary sleep blend.” Whatever it is, it works. Taking these vitamins is an official part of my bedtime routine.

12. All the notebooks. I can’t help it with the paper products—I just love them. I start the day with this prayer journal. I use this Rifle Paper Co. for Target spiral notebook for book notes and a Sugar Paper notebook (thick paper, classic cover) for longer-form notes for essays, blog posts, etc. I bought a set of these bullet journal notebooks for my weekly plans, a la the 12 Week Year.

13. This set of Le Pens is everything. I’ve color-coded the crap out of all my aforementioned notebooks. Hands down, Le Pens are the best colored pens out there. (I’m planning to share more about my color-coding system in my newsletter — sign up here, and I’ll send your a free digital planner page, too!)

14. I could probably do a whole post on how I’ve been slowly updating (and upgrading) my skincare routine, but a couple favorites that I now have on subscription are from Beautycounter: the goldilocks of moisturizers and the creamiest of eye creams.

15. This hanging toiletry bag (in medium) has worked so well on all our overnighters and weekend getaways this past year. We have a couple of bigger vacations planned for this year, and I think this bag will work just as well, even holding full-size bottles!

16. Another MVP of the latter half of 2021: this North Face pullover. It’s cropped and cozy and pairs well with my Align pants. What more can a girl ask for?

17. Bible study time. I’ve really appreciated Jen Wilkin’s and Kelly Minter’s studies this past year and look forward to finishing the Better study and starting the Encountering God book (on spiritual disciplines!). Working through studies with a clear weekly/daily structure works well for my personality.

18. Joining the Coffee + Crumbs team has truly been one of the unexpected blessings of this year. I love these women and being, as my sister says, “a creative at heart.”

19. My writing group/mastermind. Jodie, Simone, and now Neidy are some of my favorite people, and our calls every month bring me so much joy. I’ve learned so much from each of them.

20. Coffee all day, everyday. Preferably in this tumbler that goes with me from desk to car to kitchen island counter.

21. Elise Joy’s goal tracker is my jam. I’m working on being—as Ashlee and Katie put it—in “good writing shape.” I wish there was a training plan I could follow for that (“couch to book proposal in 10 weeks”??) even though I think each session would have the same directive: butt in chair; write. Last year, I made really outcome-oriented goals, and this year, I’m making the goal just putting in the time, even when the outcomes are not things that other people can see.

22. Crochet projects! I love me a project, and especially crochet because stitch by stitch, you can see your progress. (It’s the perfect hobby for a 3, IMO.) This past year, I made a velvet pig for my niece, a doll set with an entire wardrobe for my goddaughter and am currently working on a blanket for my bestie. These projects have brought me so much joy, and I can’t wait to take on more this next year.

23. I’m committed to growing creatively this next year and learning as much as I can about interior design (and other good things on Masterclass). We stayed at the Proper Hotel in Santa Monica this past July, so I have a fresh appreciation for Kelly Wearstler and her design perspective.

24. Our local library. My favorite rhythm that we established this past year has been walking with my younger two boys to the library on Tuesday/Thursday mornings. Being out in the sunshine, appreciating nature, and also getting new books to read is a triple-win in my book.

25. Start with the easiest thing; start at the easiest place. I’m learning to remind myself constantly: it doesn’t have to be hard. I used to think until I “ate the frog” (i.e. did the hardest part of the project), I couldn’t work on anything else. Now, I know that when I’m feeling daunted, I should start with the easiest possible next task: wipe down the counter, log onto the website, label the donations box, open the spreadsheet. I can build my focus/flow by just taking the smallest next right step.

26. Classical music while cleaning. I finally bought a good bluetooth speaker because Alexa just does not work for me, and I’ve been playing music so much more. Classical and worship music in the morning sets a calm tone for the rest of the day (and with three boys, our house gets crazy enough!).

27. Two date nights a month. 2020 was hard on our marriage. I was managing a full-time job, three kids doing school at home, and doing the majority of the housework and maintenance. I finally reached my tipping point at the beginning of 2021, and we implemented some changes. Mainly: one, an ideal week schedule that designated shared parenting responsibilities and blocked out my personal time, and two, standing date nights on the calendar. We try one weeknight out a month with grandparent help and one marriage matters event. Now that my youngest is three, I’m excited to add Parents Night Out (via the YMCA) to the rotation and breakfast dates during school hours.

28. Keeping track of dreams come true. The practice of regularly remembering all the things I’ve dreamed of that I now have (a white, Spanish-style house with arched doorways and natural light; a personal library of books; my very own trio of boys; a writing group … ) reorients my perspective to gratitude and reminds me of God’s faithfulness.

29. Focus. After leaving my job, I committed to several (too many) volunteer positions. Lately, there hasn’t been a single evening where I haven’t had a meeting, an event or family plans. After tracking my time, I’m recognizing that it’s not really the amount of time that I’m spending on each of these commitments that’s costing me—it’s having to switch, several times a day, between so many different roles and responsibilities. The opportunity cost of diverting energy to too many commitments is my ability to do deep work. In this next year, my goal is to keep the family plans, work, and creativity and drop almost everything else.

30. Noise-canceling headphones. I use this over-the-ears pair when I’m working and/or writing because it’s a visual cue to the kids to not interrupt me and AirPods for outdoor walks/runs or listening to a book in bed.

31. 5 a.m. time. This early morning time is a necessity in my life. There is no other quiet time in our house with three little boys (and I wouldn’t change that). Deep work has become glaringly important to me in the last year, but so has simple “being” time.

32. Semi-quitting social media. I feel like I can’t fully engage in two different worlds at the same time. I’ve made so many friends on social media, so I don’t hate it, but also, I’ve reached (or maybe recognized?) my limit this past year on how deep I can go in my own thought process and longer-form work while also maintaining the short-form, frequent engagement that social media requires. Anne Bogel recently wrote about how when life gets busy, she gets quiet on social media, and that’s the same for me, too.

33. My fanny pack. I wear this all day every day and have even convinced a couple friends to jump on the bandwagon. My keys and wallet stay in the bag at all times, and because the bag stays attached to me, I don’t worry about forgetting it at the park or grocery store.

34. Last year, I followed Katie Walter’s example and asked the Holy Spirit for a birthday gift. I asked for joy and—looking back on my camera roll and journal entries—I can see how joy-filled this last year actually was. This year, I’ve asked the Holy Spirit for love: the kind of love that sees someone as they really are and accepts them. The kind of love that requires lots of margin and the ability to slow down, to fully inhabit the present moment. The kind of love that requires less doing and more being. The kind of love embodied in this new year’s benediction.

35. A word to grow on (my word for this year): fruitful. I have an obsession with all things (meyer) lemon. My parents have the most bountiful meyer lemon tree in their backyard, so meyer lemons forever symbolize abundance and fruitfulness in my mind. My prayer this year is for fruit, to see some of the proverbial seeds that I’ve planted actually grow.

That’s it, friends! Just a very long list to ease my way back into the blogosphere (I’m shooting to publish 12 posts this year). If you create your own list, will you link to it in the comments? I’d love to read.

The Edit: Pink Things.

Remember those early days of blogging when Canva didn’t exist, and we had to pull together mood boards using Photoshop? It took me hours of learning to navigate layers and “tools.” Still, I loved being able to pull together a board of my favorite things at the moment, and I still do. 

This January, I’m in the mood for pink.

A pale pink dip manicure. Rose gold metals. Opaque pink plastics. I love all of it. And as a mom to three boys, I feel somewhat entitled to a few extra pink things in my life.

pink.png

The edit for this month:

West Elm Finley Swivel Office Chair. This chair was a splurge for me, but I couldn’t shake how perfect the combination of pink grapefruit velvet and brass is for my little office nook. It would have been more practical (and easier on our budget) if I had purchased this chair from Article instead, but each vignette deserves a splurge piece. 

Macbook Air in Gold. I set aside part of my paycheck last summer to buy myself a new laptop, just for writing and creative pursuits, and I don’t regret it at all. I believe in investing in yourself in tangible ways whenever possible.

Spiritual Gangster Breath Crop Tank Top. Like many moms now working remotely, my new uniform is athleisure. I’ve been loving tank tops by Spiritual Gangster lately, especially this one, because practice was my word for 2020 and a mantra of sorts for this decade.

Gouache Paint Set.  I’m a huge fan of Anna Bond, not only her art but also how she’s built her company from the ground up, taking on collaborations strategically. This paint set is on my wish list. I don’t really have time for another hobby, but I love the idea of learning to paint with gouache a la Rifle Paper Co. I submitted stationary designs to Minted years ago, and someday I’d love to try my hand at that again.

Lascoota Scooter in Antique Pink. My friend Ashlee wrote about pink scooters in her last newsletter, and I was influenced. I clicked add to cart immediately. I’m an enneagram 3 who is great at work, but not at play. The vision of riding around at golden hour with my boys gave me shivers of joy.

Pink storage trays. Pink is my signature color, and I find a way to incorporate it into every room. I love seeing pops of pink in my drawers and cabinets. Of course, organization is always a goal at the beginning of the year, too.

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