Notes From Sabbatical

Four years ago, I took a mini-sabbatical for the first time.

That sabbatical lasted four weeks, just like the sabbatical I’m currently wrapping up this month. Tenured academics get sabbaticals and so do some church and nonprofit leaders, but this sabbatical was one of my own making—not occurring in any sort of formalized capacity. It was mostly unpaid time off, a belated use of my allotted baby bonding time.

Since that August in 2017, it’s been a dream of mine to do work that would allow me to take one full month off every year. I’ve dreamed about spending a month on a house on the lake or a month at a farmhouse set on acres of wide-open land in Oregon Pinot Noir wine country. Maybe a month in coastal Spain. Mostly though, I’ve dreamed about having protected time to rest, read as much as I want, reflect, and relax with my kids.

So when I joined the Coffee + Crumbs team in June, it was a happy bonus to get an actual sabbatical.

This past month, I slept in, read juicy rom-coms and psychological thrillers, beach bummed with my crew, and checked items off our summer bucket list. I took naps, binged watched High Seas and largely stayed off social media.

We’re shifting into a new season now, with the quicker back-to-school pace replacing the rambling summer tempo, but I’ve learned a few lessons from sabbatical this time around.

PROTECT SLEEP

I need a lot of it… more time than I wish I could get by on. While summer nights had me heading to bed later (and sleeping in the next morning), the hours I need have roughly remained the same (around 9 hours, if you’re wondering). I have a sleep mask, bedtime lotion, silky pj’s and a wind-down routine that is an hour long, and I absolutely need all of those things for a good night’s sleep, plus the A/C set to 69°. This was a priority over sabbatical and will remain one into the busy fall ahead.

TITHE MY TIME

After reading Ordering Your Private World (highly recommend for sabbatical or sabbath), I realized that I need a large block of time each day to pray, study, reflect and write, and ideally—I need that block of time first thing in the morning.

I call this my power hour, and I think of it like tithing, but with time.

Because my brain wakes up so much quicker than my body does, giving myself time first thing in the morning to process ideas, practice prayer, read my Bible and get organized for the day feels absolutely necessary.

For the first half of sabbatical, we were still in slow-start mode because my kids didn’t have to be at camp until nine. Some days I would miss this time—going from sleeping straight into the activities of the day—and I paid for it mentally and emotionally. I felt out of sorts, like I jumped into a CrossFit competition without any sort of training or warm-up. 

When I start the day in the quiet—free from inputs, distractions, and noise—I feel more like myself, more enthusiastic about my day, more present in my day, and more able to roll with the punches. My 5 a.m. glass of cold brew with whole milk and a spoonful of brown sugar helps, too.

Go ON DATE NIGHTs

Something about the combination of long, summer nights; slower (for me) workdays; and extra time home with the kids made going out for date nights feel more doable. Sabbatical allowed for a restful month which lead to a more restful relationship. The pressure was off this month to work on our marriage, so we ended up having more fun. Biweekly date nights are on the calendar for the rest of the year.

WEEKNIGHTS ARE FOR FUN, TOO

On a whim one Tuesday, we went to the movies for the first time in a long time. I reserved seats in the afternoon, and after dinner we headed to the theater down the street to watch the Jungle Cruise. We brought our son’s friend with us, and his mom stocked us with candy. Each kid had their own cushy recliner seat in the middle of the theater with their own tray of extra buttered popcorn and box of Sour Patch Kids, their eyes transfixed on the screen, arms elbow deep in popcorn. I wasn’t bored. I wasn’t distracted. There was no where else I would rather be. This fall, I want to hold space for things like spontaneous movie nights or weeknight trips to Dave & Buster’s. I want to be fully present for play and not just for work.

CLEAN HOUSE, CALMER LIFE

Midway through July, in preparation for our annual family gathering aka Cousin Camp 2021, I deep-cleaned and decluttered the pretty much the entire house. My sister told me that my house looked like a model home, and it made me smile for days because I worked so dang hard for two straight weeks getting the house in order. When sabbatical rolled around in August, I felt like I could rest I wasn’t constantly tripping over clutter and broken toys. I didn’t have to spend energy having to figure out where to put things. I just had to execute in maintenance mode. Less energy spent managing my physical space meant more energy for playing and projects.

IT IS YOU THAT HOLDS US TOGETHER

The first half of sabbatical for me felt like I imagined it would—full of rest, a wide open calendar, possibility. The second half of sabbatical, in the busyness of my older boys started school, the chaos of a half-done exterior paint project, and the start of fall activities, it started to feel that sabbatical was starting to reveal what was broken. It revealed my anger when circumstances weren’t what I expected them to be. It revealed my frustration at my long list of unfinished projects and my propensity to rely on my own capacity. Sabbatical reminded me of the song that I’ve had on repeat this summer is Hold Us Together by H.E.R. and Tauren Wells:

You're the keeper, protector
It is You that holds us together
When everything else fails us
It is You that holds us together

Finding the Magic in the Mess.

It was April of 2020 when the peripheral pressures of the pandemic with its stay-at-home orders, distance learning, and perpetual fear-stoking news cycle finally did me in. Simultaneously—weeks of rain that kept us indoors.

After exhausting three other activities in the span of ten minutes, I asked my boys, “do you want to paint?”

Pre-pandemic Ruthie would have set easels up outside, with smocks, and individual paint cups.

Pandemic Ruthie taped together flattened cardboard boxes from Amazon subscribe & save deliveries until they covered the living room floor. Pandemic Ruthie filled muffin trays full of paint and didn’t bat an eye when stray color ended up on the white walls.

I didn’t even realize how tightly wound I had become. How freeing it felt to swirl globs of paint around on cardboard. How satisfying it was to make a mess.

The art was for them, but it was also for me. 

How many times have I thought that getting unstuck was about being more tidy, more pulled together, more curated when actually it was making a mess that reminded me to enjoy the process and hold the outcome loosely.

The boundaries of cardboard became our safe space to lean into the chaos, and in the mess we found the magic: Playfulness. Joy. Wonder. Freedom.

By grace, we’re not stuck.

Make a mess to release your creativity. Lay down perfect. Pick up playful.

Make a mess to find beauty in an unexpected place. Lay down expectations. Pick up wonder.

Make a mess as part of moving forward. Lay down control. Pick up freedom.

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale—an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in this series "Make A Mess".

Rule of Three for Styling an Entry

For many homes, the entryway is the first space you see after walking in your front door or the last space you see before walking out. This space acts as both a drop zone and the first look at your home—it needs to be functional, and ideally, it’s pretty, too! While there are myriad ways to decorate an entry, I’ll share what worked for me.

Start with Three Foundational Pieces

Foundational piece #1: A console table or bench

The space that acts as our entryway is to the left of our stairs, to the right of our hallway closet and faces the dining room. Because the hallway that separates it from the dining room is not wide, I knew that we couldn’t go with bulky or deep furniture that would interfere with the walking space. I toyed with the idea of going with a bench as a sitting area to put on shoes, but decided that the kids could use the stairs for that and instead chose a narrow console table.

Questions to ask yourself: What do you have room for? What’s the best use of the space—as a sit-down drop zone or an upright one? Do you need extra storage in this space?

Foundational piece #2: A mirror or statement art piece

The wall behind the console table was large and empty, so I knew I could go big here. Since I already have a gridded gallery wall of family photos in our living area and an art gallery wall in our piano room, I decided on a large mirror.

A mirror acts to both visually enlarge the area and serve as a “last look” space to check your makeup before you run out the door, so it’s pretty and practical. If you already have a mirror in a different space, a statement art piece is another great option.

Foundational piece #3: A basket, tray or low bowl

I am a basket queen. I use them everywhere in the house to corral toys, shoes, mail, keys, and other small items. A basket serves as a catchall to throw in keys, sunglasses or a wallet as you are coming in the door, and a tray or low, decorative bowl could do the same. I also have a larger basket next to the console table for guests to place their shoes as they come in.

Think in Three Visual Layers

A Statement Layer

The statement layer is the top third to top half of your entryway wall space. This is the space taken up by your mirror or art piece. You might choose to install a sconce above your mirror or flanking either side—as a way to add additional sources of light if you need it.

A Shelf Layer

This is the linear space where your basket or tray and decorative items—vases, lamps, smaller leaning art pieces, stacked books, candles— will live. Mix in tall, vertical elements like vases or lamps to add balance to the space.

A Grounding Layer

This is the bottom third to the bottom half of the space that visually grounds the vignette. Literal heavy and visually weighty items go here. If you have a bottom shelf to your console table like I do, make sure you choose items with height so you aren’t left with a blank gap between the bottom shelf and where your drawers begin.

Layer in Three Elements

I love incorporating books and framed photographs wherever I can in a room, but there are three other elements that I try to keep in every vignette—

A Pop of Black

I recently learned that there’s a reason why designers incorporate black into spaces—because it keeps your eye moving. But I’ve always loved incorporating black because it adds a layer of contrast that’s visually interesting, and it manages to be both a neutral and the opposite of a neutral at the same time.

Something Woven

Incorporating something woven gives texture and dimension to a space. It’s one of the reasons I keep all sorts of baskets on hand. You can also incorporate texture by incorporating vases or lamps with subtle lines or grids.

Greenery

Greenery, fake or real, adds an element of freshness. We pick up greenery from our local farmers’ market every Sunday.

By dividing a space into elements and layers, it becomes easier to take a phased approach to decorating. Start by gathering your foundational pieces, decorate by layer, then add finishing touches.

Surf Shack 

The Kinfolk Home

Console Table

Frame (also comes in a walnut!)

Mirror

Baskets and shoe basket

Candle

Please Remove Shoes Sign

*some items are affiliate linked and some are non-affiliate linked. If you choose to purchase an item, I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you.

The Edit: Pink Things.

Remember those early days of blogging when Canva didn’t exist, and we had to pull together mood boards using Photoshop? It took me hours of learning to navigate layers and “tools.” Still, I loved being able to pull together a board of my favorite things at the moment, and I still do. 

This January, I’m in the mood for pink.

A pale pink dip manicure. Rose gold metals. Opaque pink plastics. I love all of it. And as a mom to three boys, I feel somewhat entitled to a few extra pink things in my life.

The edit for this month:

West Elm Finley Swivel Office Chair. This chair was a splurge for me, but I couldn’t shake how perfect the combination of pink grapefruit velvet and brass is for my little office nook. It would have been more practical (and easier on our budget) if I had purchased this chair from Article instead, but each vignette deserves a splurge piece. 

Macbook Air in Gold. I set aside part of my paycheck last summer to buy myself a new laptop, just for writing and creative pursuits, and I don’t regret it at all. I believe in investing in yourself in tangible ways whenever possible.

Spiritual Gangster Breath Crop Tank Top. Like many moms now working remotely, my new uniform is athleisure. I’ve been loving tank tops by Spiritual Gangster lately, especially this one, because practice was my word for 2020 and a mantra of sorts for this decade.

Gouache Paint Set.  I’m a huge fan of Anna Bond, not only her art but also how she’s built her company from the ground up, taking on collaborations strategically. This paint set is on my wish list. I don’t really have time for another hobby, but I love the idea of learning to paint with gouache a la Rifle Paper Co. I submitted stationary designs to Minted years ago, and someday I’d love to try my hand at that again.

Lascoota Scooter in Antique Pink. My friend Ashlee wrote about pink scooters in her last newsletter, and I was influenced. I clicked add to cart immediately. I’m an enneagram 3 who is great at work, but not at play. The vision of riding around at golden hour with my boys gave me shivers of joy.

Pink storage trays. Pink is my signature color, and I find a way to incorporate it into every room. I love seeing pops of pink in my drawers and cabinets. Of course, organization is always a goal at the beginning of the year, too.

This post contains affiliate links, so that I’ll earn a small commission should you choose to purchase through the link, at no additional cost to you. As always, I only recommend what I use or love.