The Practice of Sabbath.

There’s a family video we’ve been watching on repeat lately. It’s a video of my now six-year old, Noah, when he was three, pretend-playing with a stool that’s turned over sideways. My boys are sitting in the stool like you’d sit in a car, and in the video, I’m saying, “Show me how you go fast!”

At my prompt, Noah looks at me, and in a singsong voice says, “It only goes slow, sorry.” He says sorry like he’s a game show host giving bad news to a contestant, and I am the unlucky participant. He repeats: “It only goes sloooow.”

Our family has made it a goal to be more intentional this year about the practice of Sabbath—a 24-hour time period of restful worship by which we cultivate a restful spirit in all of our life, defined by John Mark Comer in his How to Un-Hurry Workbook. When I think about how we approach Sabbath, I think about my son saying, It only goes slow, sorry. 

Sabbath invites us to slow. Slow our mental hamster wheel. Slow our busy hands. Slow our scroll (or stop it altogether, like a weekly digital detox).

Sabbath shakes us out of the notion that we can keep the world spinning—all plates held static in the air—as long as we keep moving and keep working, as long as we keep up the momentum of the hustle.

On Sabbath, we are not sorry that we only go slow.

Sabbath invites us to savor. Savor what we already have. Savor a slow meal, a mindful walk, quality time with family, the slow drip of coffee. Savor the way the morning light floods the front room and glides over the piano, illuminating the gallery wall of art and photographs and memories. 

Sabbath points to Jesus, and Jesus gives us rest, along with the reminder that we have spiritual riches far beyond what our human hands are able to muster (see 1 Timothy 6:17-19). Sabbath invites us to sit, like Mary at the Lord’s feet (Luke 10:38-42).

If you’re feeling the pressure of the last six weeks of the year, perhaps consider incorporating into your weekly rhythm this practice of worshipping, savoring, and slowing.

It’s a gift that you don’t have to wait for Christmas to unwrap.

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale—an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in this series "Savor".

A poetic stack of my favorite books.

I shared this originally, on instagram, as part of a #spinepoetrychallenge—using the words and title phrases on the spine of selected books to create a poem—led by friends in Exhale Creativity. What started as a fun, simple creative exercise turned into a thought-provoking display of different themes and personalities. I loved reading the other “spine poems” on my feed—even when books titles overlapped, the final outcome was unique. My own stack includes books written by my favorite authors and books on home decor and design, capturing my aesthetic and personality in both words and image.

it’s not supposed to be this way.

these bittersweet, barbarian days,

slouching towards Bethlehem,

toward all the light we cannot see.

we desire to live present over perfect, 

no longer uninvited to

a moveable feast, of bread & wine.

you are made for living.

come matter here.

savor.

make life beautiful. 

live with color.

live with pattern.

word by word,

you are made for this—

a long obedience in the same direction.

If you’re in need of a creative boost, start with your bookshelf. I can’t wait to see what you stack—tag me on instagram!

Affiliate disclosure: this post contains links where, if you purchase, I will receive a small commission. I promise that only link to items that I own, love, and wholeheartedly recommend.

Notes on How to get started with crochet

It’s been two decades since I crocheted my way through my afghan in a day project at winter camp in middle school, but then I saw a post about I saw a post about Amanda Seyfriend that linked to a candy corn crochet bunting banner and suddenly I was in a rabbit hole of crafting projects on Pinterest. 

I came across the cutest crochet Frankie Stein doll that would be perfect for my Halloween baby’s 2nd birthday. I found a mudcloth pumpkin with a free pattern, a crochet knot pillow that could double as coffee table decor, and a pattern for a fluffy faux fur throw similar to one that my husband wanted from Pottery Barn.

I remember crochet as being fairly easy to learn, but I didn’t how exactly to start. Which project would be easiest for a beginner? Which yarn? What size needle? What do the notations on the  pattern actually mean?

If you’re a beginner, or if you forgot everything that you once knew how to do, this is for you.

Start with this book. I came across Debrosse while I was scrolling through inspiration on Pinterest. Her book, Modern Crochet, gives you access to all of her how to stitch videos along with a great collection of starter patterns (and an overview of how to read patterns) and the exact yarn, etc. you need with links.

I based my first projects on what was available in terms of yarn and hooks and what would be easy. I wanted to start right away with something easy, so I started with a throw. A throw or a blanket is a great way to start because you are basically doing the same stitch over and over again, and with this project, I didn’t have to count stitches after the first round. It takes some effort on the front end to learn the basics, but it’s a great confidence builder, and you will have a big tangible finished product in the end.

If you want to start with the Bainet Throw (pictured above) like I did, you’ll find the pattern in the book above. You will need this P hook (amazon link here, Michael’s link here) and this yarn (I bought 9 skeins, but ended up using only 7 using curbside pickup from Michaels, but you can also buy it at Joann’s). 

This is the video I used to learn to connect the new yarn. I watched the videos that came with the book on how to do a slip stitch, chain stitch, single crochet stitch (back loop only), and slip stitch as I stitched the first couple rows before muscle memory took over.

Stitch markers (inserted into the first stitch on the right side) are a must for keeping track of stitches and rows, even though there is no turning in this project and you will start with a new yarn for each row, going right to left. I recommend buying this set of hooks, as you need a smaller size for the tassels on this project and will need different sizes of hooks eventually anyway. I also bought this tapestry needle set, which I didn’t use until I made my mudcloth pumpkin.

A Few Tips for Starting:

• The first chain that you stitch should be on the looser side (Debrosse talks about this in her book), so that you don’t end up with a shriveled up blanket side.

• Get a feel for your tension (how tight or loose you stitch) by stitching a chain and then a few single crochet (sc) stitches into that chain. You can easily unravel this and start over–one of the best parts of crochet!

• Give yourself lots of grace–the beginning of each project is the hardest, and you will end better than you started. This means that the first rows of your project may look too loose or too tight until you get a hang of the right tension, but no one else will notice.

• For me, it helped to just start. I picked a project and learned what I needed for that project, using the book and YouTube videos for reference. I didn’t learn how to make a magic ring until I started the pumpkin (linked below), and I didn’t learn how to switch colors or stitch continuous rounds until I started Frankie Stein (also linked below).

my mudcloth pumpkin, a.k.a. boy children-friendly holiday decor

Other patterns I purchased and my next projects:

Paix Fur Throw by Debrosse This looks simple, but I’ve started it and it’s actually not because you can’t see any of your stitches, so you are basically stitching blind. 

Mudcloth Pumpkin This is a free pattern that you can buy on etsy if you want the ad-free version. It took me several tries to get the hang of the magic circle that is the basis for this pattern, but now that I know how, I can make...

Frankie Stein For Micah’s halloween bday! This is my first doll project, and I’m having so much fun with it.

Mare Knot Pillow by Debrosse Decorative wood, concrete or metal knots are all the rage right now in interior decor, so why *knot throw a velvet yarn once in the mix. See what I did there? ;)

The Croix Coaster (from the Modern Crochet book). I imagine this would also be a good project to start with, but the yarn wasn’t in stock at the time. I just now purchased supplies for this: this yarn (I think you’ll only need 1 skein of it for this project) and these rings. Basically all patterns Debrosse are beautiful with the clearest explanations and accompanying video links.

All those patterns will tell you what supplies you need. I buy the exact yarn they recommend because I don’t trust my skill in finding appropriate substitutes. 

I love all things creative – writing, graphic design, interior decor, cookie decorating, calligraphy. But what I love about crochet is: one–it’s super easy to learn, two––it’s tangible and three–with the help of stitch markers, it’s easy to start, stop, tuck into a basket, and pick up again when there’s time. I can work on a project while watching a show with my husband or a movie with my kids or listening to an audible book (most recently: The Matriarch, a biography of Barbara Bush and Becoming–highly recommend both). Where so many other parts of my life require mental gymnastics, the most demanding part of crochet is keeping track of stitches and rounds.

For a girl who’s felt a little bit creatively stuck in this chaotic season, it feels good to hold something tangible and be able to say I finished this.

*This post contains Amazon affiliate links. If you purchase using the links above, I’ll receive a teeny, tiny commission that will probably go towards supporting my new old lady yarn habit.

Our boys’ room

It’s taken nearly a year of living in our house, but the boys’ room has finally come together. 

We tackled some basics first: repainting the interior white, replacing the carpet with flooring that matches our main floor, disassembling the crib that our third child never slept in (I know, I know, we’re terrible at sleep training).

What I’ve learned is that rooms (and dreams) come together in three parts: with vision, material objects, and people.

VISION

Before we even stepped foot in our current home, I pictured a mountains-to-beach room for our boys. Where we live in Southern California, it’s about an hour to the mountains and a fifteen-minute drive to the beach. We’ve never tried skiing and surfing in the same day, but I imagine with three boys, it will be a bucket list item someday.

You can start with an image, a Pinterest board, an idea. You can start with a few words that describe what you want the room to feel like once you’re living in it and how the space needs to function. Getting clear on exactly what you want is the first step.

OBJECTS

For the boys’ room, I gathered:

That owl lamp I bought on sale from the Anthropologie in Santa Monica a decade ago.

The truck piggy bank Noah painted when he turned two and the horse painted by Judah on his 2nd birthday (in a serious Spirit Riding Free phase). 

The chalkboard Mumford & Sons lyric calligraphy piece I bought from a pop up market in my hometown the day I turned 28.

The Strands pennant and Swiss army box I bought and hoarded for over a year in a moving box.

The prints I bought before the All Good Things Collective closed up shop – Micah 6:8 for Micah, 2 Timothy 1:7 for Judah, I Peter 5:7 for Noah and Proverbs 17:17 for all three of them.

The thing about objects (and dreams): you have what you need to start.

You don’t need a trip to Home Goods or all the latest decor items from McGee & Co. When you  begin to look around your house – or your life – you realize that you already have little gems scattered all around. They just need to be unearthed, repurposed, gathered.

PEOPLE

I love how the boys’ room turned out – it’s exactly what I wanted for them – but I especially love how they make it their own.

I’ve found them building train sets in the corner and sliding down into the reading nook floor cushions. At night, all three of them tuck themselves into the bottom bunk, and we read books pulled from the basket next to the bed. 

The vision, the stuff – it was all for this, moments with my three sweet little people. In decorating and in life, what starts with vision, ends with people.

Day by day

How I plan my day as a full-time working mom of three young kids

For months, I’ve spent the late hours of the day catching up. While my husband puts the kids to bed, I send emails I didn’t get a chance to earlier in the day. I jot down bullet points of thoughts because I can no longer think in complete sentences. I make lists combining my new list with all the cumulative lists that came before it.

I didn’t know it was possible to be this far behind, to carry your responsibilities from one day to the next, from one week to the next, from one month to the next, ad infinitum.

I didn’t expect to be hit so hard with my own limitations, laid bare without the mediators of extra help and a “normal” schedule. 

Texting with a friend, she said, “Half of the struggle is just figuring out what to spend my time on and what to prioritize.” 

When you’re drowning in to-dos, where do you even start?

What friends have told when I’ve asked how they’re doing in the midst of the pandemic, amidst the pains of racial injustice, as working moms juggling the impossible trifecta of full-time work, full-time childcare, and almost full-time household management is:

“We’re taking it day by day.”

Day by day.

Gratitude for this day (see Ps. 118:24) + recognition of our limitations (see Matt. 6:34, 2 Cor. 12:9) + actions of obedience (see Job 36:11, John 15:12-17) = contentment within the circumstances of today (see Phil. 4:11-13, Prov. 19:23).

Gratitude reminds us that today is a gift. Our limitations remind us that we are not God and gives us freedom from having to do it all. Abiding with obedience reminds us to make moves in love, here and now, however small.

May we be people of contentment over achievement and practice over perfect, starting with today.

START THE NIGHT BEFORE

I keep learning this lesson the hard way: there is no getting ahead without getting ahead. There is no shortcut to preparation. On the days that I don’t get up before my kids, I feel it – the subtle overwhelm of starting the day behind, in reactive mode rather than proactive.

Whether it’s the night before as part of your evening wind-down routine or first thing in the morning, take a couple minutes (it really does take only 2-3 minutes) to game plan for the day ahead. 

Review your calendar and write down the next day’s appointments. Write in when you plan to get up, what your workout will be and when, what meals (and snacks!)  you have planned for the day. Block off time to do focused work. Jot down what you imagine the day’s priorities to be – these can always be adjusted as needed. Then go to sleep – or –  if you are doing this in the morning, continue with your morning routine. I’ve found that I have renewed clarity about my day’s priorities after a good night’s sleep or after my quiet time + cold brew ritual.

PRACTICE OVER PERFECT

Habits are the anchors of my day. 

At the beginning of this, I decided on five foundational habits to track for the entirety of 2020. These are my daily practices:

• A practice of silence/solitude/stillness

• Bible study

• A workout

• 20 minutes of reading with my boys

• A writing session of 20 minutes or longer

Your practices will likely look different, based on the habits you want to create and the goals you have set for yourself. I’ve found that focusing on doing these five things consistently in this season has been the most grounding for me, so these have a special place at the top of the list.

TOP THREE PRIORITIES

Every day requires a calibration of priorities. Ideally, your top three priorities for the day are the tasks or projects that will have the most impact on moving your goals forward, but these can also be affected by deadlines or by priorities set by senior work leadership.

Don’t overthink these. You can always change them (and it’s especially easy when you’re using a digital planner page). Even the smallest progress can move your goals forward. 

THE & LIST

Start with a fresh list every day. 

Don’t roll over unfinished tasks from yesterday’s list just because they were on yesterday’s list – starting the day with a list that spans months of to-dos will instantaneously kill all momentum. Delete tasks deemed unnecessary and brain dump all the tasks that need to get done eventually but not necessarily today onto a different document/notebook/piece of paper. 

Keep your and list short, sweet, doable and relevant to today.

ABIDE

This is where I write my Bible study plans for the day. Even though it’s in the bottom corner of the page, I consider this the most important section of my plans – it’s impossible to go wrong with this time. If you are on a reading plan, write the day’s reading here. I’m currently working through Kelly Minter’s Nehemiah study and Joel Muddamalle’s Instagram study #AmosInAction, so I’m writing in “Session 1 and Amos Ch. 4.”

TOMORROW STARTS TODAY

I created this digital planning page (that’s also printable!) because I needed a way to organize my day that I could easily load onto my iPad (via GoodNotes) and bring with me when I travel. I wanted something simple, easy, and comprehensive. I wanted to capture in one place the interconnectedness of life – the work overlapping with play overlapping with how taking care of body, mind, and spirit.

At the end of the day, I think what most of us want is to be content with how we spent our time.

Fewer distractions. Less busy work. Less “catching up.”

More moments of feeling truly present. More play. More satisfaction in accomplishing exactly what we needed to do.

I’ve heard it said that we overestimate what we can do in a day, but underestimate what we can do over months and years. James Clear puts it this way: “Intensity makes a good story. Consistency makes progress.”

We can still choose to take each day as a gift. Some days we’ll make the most of the day, other days, we’ll leave our to-do list untouched. That’s ok. We can keep starting fresh. We can keep resetting our intentions. We can refocus our eyes on new morning mercies. Day by day.