My Whole6.

I quit Whole30 on the morning of Day 7.

For six days, I stuck to the program religiously. (Enter the theological discussion of the letter v. the intent of the law).  Whole30 was the letter when my intention the whole time was discipline and healthy choices. I even tediously removed the flecks of quinoa that Dave accidentally had put on my greens bowl at Cava and stuck the coconut milk yogurt – marred by the iota of rice starch in its ingredient list – at the back of the fridge.

I felt progressively hangry and then, weak. It was hard lifting even 8-lb. dumbbells over my head in Orange Theory. I’m not talking feel-the-burn hard, I’m talking why-won’t-my-arms-hold-themselves-up-I’m-so-tired hard.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was me, being up at 3 a.m., emailing my doctor about issues with my body that I experienced that are TMI for the internet. At six, I went downstairs and ate a bowl of plain whole milk Greek yogurt with a handful of chia seeds and frozen berries (no added sugar, mind you). It was delicious. Then I ate a plain multigrain waffle which hit the spot – had sugar in it, but I’ve decided I’m ok with five out of twenty-five grams a day.

Later that morning, I had oatmeal (also banned), with unsweetened Milkadamia and topped with sliced banana and avocado. I brewed French press with the yummy (but, really, so good) Ecuador Estate Small Lot coffee from Trader Joe’s with a splash of cream. It was perfection. I’m talking happiness in a cup.

Do I feel like I’m missing out on the full benefits of completing the program? Kinda. Did I experience benefits? Some (more of this in another post). Was my body (still breastfeeding) going bonkers? Yes. So it feels 10% like failure and 90% like freedom. I’m not convinced that going without plain yogurt (probiotics → good gut bacteria) or whole grains is beneficial for me in the long run, or in the short-term.

No sugar bingers, but not gonna lie, these look good.

Is it a failure or win? I’m not really sure, but I’m leaning towards the latter. I still have a Whole30 compliant dinner planned, but before that, I fully plan on snacking on sesame crackers and a cheddar stick. ✌🏼

A Sabbatical of Sorts.

I’m taking a mini-sabbatical of sorts.

I am so happy just thinking about it. This August: four weeks of baby bonding, summer splashing, coffee and play dates with my favorite mom friends. Four weeks of doing something creative during nap time, getting just a little bit more organized, and lounging on the couch. Four weeks of not rushing so much, therapeutic grocery store adventures, and playing with my babes.

These four weeks I will not be the bag lady.  The one toting a laptop, 2 lb. day planner, notebooks and a pumping bag and a lunch bag and a gym tote and, twice a week: a nap mat, a preschool basket, and a toddler lunch box. I will get to be less director, more snuggler. Less hustler, more volunteer. Less consumer, more creative. Less on-the-way-out-the-door listener, more present: wife, mother, daughter, friend.

Carrying my life on my shoulders, not two, not three, but five days a week has started to feel over the top. [Though to put it in perspective:  women all around the world do hard things. Things that are actually hard like deciding how best to protect their children in conflicts and crises, not first-world-problems hard.] I just need a little role calibration.

I’ve set some ambitious personal and professional goals for myself, but this month, I’m shooting for less work, more: re-learning discipline, practicing intentionality, exploring creative avenues, and looking after my family’s health and well-being.

Enter Whole30.

I’ve found it remarkably easy to fall into being lazy and unfocused while chalking it up to being a sleep-deprived mom of two with a full-time job and a generally full (in all the best ways) life. In the rush, I’ve drum up the bad habit of mindlessly consuming treats in all their forms: Starbucks double shots with cream too many afternoons, unnecessary Amazon purchases, cocktails with every dinner. I’ve been excessive.

So: simplification.

I have a hunch that adding discipline to our diet will bring us back to the basics with other parts of our lives, too.  And there’s no better time for that than now. Reset.

Nordstrom Anniversary Sale.

The Nordstrom Anniversary sale is one of my biggest weaknesses. I added a billion things to my wish list during Early Access (I don't have a card at Nordstrom – too dangerous), and somehow managed to narrow down to a few things that I had been meaning to buy anyway (I tell myself): high-rise jeans with the raw hem that I loved on my favorite pair of maternity jeans, a packable but warm jacket for work trips to San Francisco, a set of chubby sticks because I am always misplacing my fancy lip balm, and Somme transport pads that came highly recommended by my sister. 

What I bought (with Dave's blessing, of course):

Here's what I didn't buy, but added to my wish list (FYI, my wish list was waaayy longer, but things have sold out so fast!):

So now that I'm plagued with consumerism, I'm done. Happy Friday!

What I'm Reading: April & May.

I went just a little bit crazy buying books these last two months.

Family

The Magic of Motherhood. You can bet that I pre-ordered this as soon as I heard it was on Amazon. I'm such a huge fan of Coffee & Crumbs. Only Love Today: Reminders to Breathe More, Stress Less, and Choose Love is another mom-fave for me. My mom actually took it off my nightstand and has been reading it herself. It's only $2.99 on Kindle right now, so scoop this one up.

Not Naughty: 10 Ways Kids Appear to Be Acting Bad But Aren't. This was a really eye-opening one for me, especially numbers 2-4 and 9-10. I'm learning to offer Noah (and myself) grace when it comes to being overtired and overstimulated. Most of the time, we know what's best for our own kids, but I'm a big believer in learning how to be a better parent. Dave and I went to a parenting workshop at our church before Noah was even walking, and the speaker said something to the effect of, "If we want better kids, we have to be better parents." That stuck with me.

The Happy Sleeper. Sleep training, it's real. 

The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place. I want Dave to read this one. So hard to disconnect these days, and I want to make sure we are setting the best possible example for the little ones before they grow up to be iPhone addicts.

Self

How to Draw Modern Florals. So, so excited to carve out time to work my way through this book. I can't make it to an in-person art class these days, so this is perfect for at-home art times with my little ones.

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life. I'm just now learning about this, and wondering why I hadn't read it sooner. It's therapy in a book. One of my biggest life challenges is learning how to adequately communicate my needs and my boundaries and helping my kiddos do the same, and this book has been so helpful in guiding me. Breathing Room: Letting Go So You Can Fully Live is another therapy-esque book I'm reading slowly.

The Silent Child. This was $1.99 on Amazon, and had a ton of great reviews. I haven't started reading it yet, but it's next on my list, as soon as I remember to charge my Kindle.

Worth It: Your Life, Your Money, Your Terms. I'm a personal finance junkie. I'll read almost anything related to women and money.

Home

Surf Shack: Laid-Back Living By the Water. I bought this as a coffee table book for friends who just moved into their new home, and then bought another copy to keep for myself because captures the California aesthetic so well.

Living with Pattern: Color, Texture, and Print at Home. This book is beautiful, and so inspiring for me. Home decorating is a slow, slow road when you're on a budget, but I'm looking forward to layering textures and print.

Kiddos

Next to You: A Book of Adorableness. I bought this book to read to Judah, but Noah loves it, too. His first words to Judah in the morning: "Hi sweetheart! You are cute, cute, cute and cute." It's the best.

I've added so. many. books. to my summer reading list, so stay tuned. Happy almost June!

Hire the Painter.

Young House Love and Chris Loves Julia make home DIY look so glam.

#reallife

It was fun at first. We incorporated some solid toddler lessons in hard work, with Noah trying his hand at painting with a mini touch-up roller. Then three months in – there are still paintbrushes soaking in water and vinegar solution on the kitchen counter, my Lulus are now my paint clothes, and I’m still tripping over boxes that I can’t unpack because I can’t anchor any furniture on the walls that still need a second coat, and (deep breath) – it’s not so fun.

How do people do it with kids? We were dealing with a meltdown, every twenty minutes, from a toddler who needed attention (rightfully so), and I was nursing my other sweet boy, also every twenty minutes. And did I mention that we both have full-time jobs and our own company?

Maybe one day we won’t be scrounging up spare time like loose change, and when that day comes, it will be bittersweet.

It’s difficult let go of hard-earned money, but at this season in our lives, the opportunity cost of doing the job ourselves is too high.

I asked my friend, Is it even worth it to get a quote for a painter? Like how much does it cost to finish painting like ⅗ of our ceiling, half of our baseboards, two random doors?

Her response? It’s priceless. It’s your sanity. As the author of this spot-on article points out, “Happiness in the present, earning power in the future and familial bliss need not be in conflict.”

I've learned a whole lot of lessons in my twenties, but now that I'm 30, I'm learning another big lesson: outsource. Hire the painter. And the housekeeper. And while you’re at it, get the Plated subscription.

The painters are coming tomorrow, and I’m like (insert all the dancing lady, celebration confetti, big grin, and happy family emojis here).