My Whole6.

I quit Whole30 on the morning of Day 7.

For six days, I stuck to the program religiously. (Enter the theological discussion of the letter v. the intent of the law).  Whole30 was the letter when my intention the whole time was discipline and healthy choices. I even tediously removed the flecks of quinoa that Dave accidentally had put on my greens bowl at Cava and stuck the coconut milk yogurt – marred by the iota of rice starch in its ingredient list – at the back of the fridge.

I felt progressively hangry and then, weak. It was hard lifting even 8-lb. dumbbells over my head in Orange Theory. I’m not talking feel-the-burn hard, I’m talking why-won’t-my-arms-hold-themselves-up-I’m-so-tired hard.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was me, being up at 3 a.m., emailing my doctor about issues with my body that I experienced that are TMI for the internet. At six, I went downstairs and ate a bowl of plain whole milk Greek yogurt with a handful of chia seeds and frozen berries (no added sugar, mind you). It was delicious. Then I ate a plain multigrain waffle which hit the spot – had sugar in it, but I’ve decided I’m ok with five out of twenty-five grams a day.

Later that morning, I had oatmeal (also banned), with unsweetened Milkadamia and topped with sliced banana and avocado. I brewed French press with the yummy (but, really, so good) Ecuador Estate Small Lot coffee from Trader Joe’s with a splash of cream. It was perfection. I’m talking happiness in a cup.

Do I feel like I’m missing out on the full benefits of completing the program? Kinda. Did I experience benefits? Some (more of this in another post). Was my body (still breastfeeding) going bonkers? Yes. So it feels 10% like failure and 90% like freedom. I’m not convinced that going without plain yogurt (probiotics → good gut bacteria) or whole grains is beneficial for me in the long run, or in the short-term.

No sugar bingers, but not gonna lie, these look good.

Is it a failure or win? I’m not really sure, but I’m leaning towards the latter. I still have a Whole30 compliant dinner planned, but before that, I fully plan on snacking on sesame crackers and a cheddar stick. ✌🏼

A Sabbatical of Sorts.

I’m taking a mini-sabbatical of sorts.

I am so happy just thinking about it. This August: four weeks of baby bonding, summer splashing, coffee and play dates with my favorite mom friends. Four weeks of doing something creative during nap time, getting just a little bit more organized, and lounging on the couch. Four weeks of not rushing so much, therapeutic grocery store adventures, and playing with my babes.

These four weeks I will not be the bag lady.  The one toting a laptop, 2 lb. day planner, notebooks and a pumping bag and a lunch bag and a gym tote and, twice a week: a nap mat, a preschool basket, and a toddler lunch box. I will get to be less director, more snuggler. Less hustler, more volunteer. Less consumer, more creative. Less on-the-way-out-the-door listener, more present: wife, mother, daughter, friend.

Carrying my life on my shoulders, not two, not three, but five days a week has started to feel over the top. [Though to put it in perspective:  women all around the world do hard things. Things that are actually hard like deciding how best to protect their children in conflicts and crises, not first-world-problems hard.] I just need a little role calibration.

I’ve set some ambitious personal and professional goals for myself, but this month, I’m shooting for less work, more: re-learning discipline, practicing intentionality, exploring creative avenues, and looking after my family’s health and well-being.

Enter Whole30.

I’ve found it remarkably easy to fall into being lazy and unfocused while chalking it up to being a sleep-deprived mom of two with a full-time job and a generally full (in all the best ways) life. In the rush, I’ve drum up the bad habit of mindlessly consuming treats in all their forms: Starbucks double shots with cream too many afternoons, unnecessary Amazon purchases, cocktails with every dinner. I’ve been excessive.

So: simplification.

I have a hunch that adding discipline to our diet will bring us back to the basics with other parts of our lives, too.  And there’s no better time for that than now. Reset.