The alert on my phone rouses me from the LEGO stupor. "Sollybabywrap just posted a photo." The speed at which I open Instagram rivals my husband’s momentum on fantasy football draft day. It’s the code I’ve been waiting for, the one I can use to claim a free swaddle until they run out, just pay shipping.
I race to the laptop plugged in on the floor of our bedroom and pull up the Solly Baby website. It’s taking forever to load, so I click the link on my phone, scroll quickly to the swaddle section, then stop as soon as I see the Blush Swiss Dot. Pink, check. Polka dots, check. Girl, check. I could absolutely be incentivized to try for a fourth baby.
I add it to my cart, exhale a victory sigh that the promo code still works, and click Checkout. I run downstairs to grab my wallet in the diaper bag next to the front door, but I can’t find my debit card. Did I leave it in the boys’ room? I just used it. My faux-fur lined bathrobe flaps behind me like a superhero cape as I sprint back up the stairs past my boys.
“Dinosaur ROAR!” my two-year old says.
“This is a special Transformer that turns into a dino-”
I cut off my four-year-old before he can finish sentence. “GUYS. I cannot talk dinosaurs right now. Mommy is trying to get a free blush swaddle for the baby sister that you might never have.”
Hyped on cold coffee and coupon-code competition, I make a last ditch pass through my wallet and find my card, wedged in my coin purse. I grab my phone, still open to the storefront link, and scramble to enter my card number and place the order.
"This code did not match any active gift card or discount. Was it entered correctly?"
I am too late. I missed it. I text my husband: “It’s a sign. I can’t even get a free girl swaddle. How am I ever going to get a girl?”
My husband doesn’t respond to the text. He knows this condition. He calls it “greedy for pink things.”
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