Four years ago, I took a mini-sabbatical for the first time.
That sabbatical lasted four weeks, just like the sabbatical I’m currently wrapping up this month. Tenured academics get sabbaticals and so do some church and nonprofit leaders, but this sabbatical was one of my own making—not occurring in any sort of formalized capacity. It was mostly unpaid time off, a belated use of my allotted baby bonding time.
Since that August in 2017, it’s been a dream of mine to do work that would allow me to take one full month off every year. I’ve dreamed about spending a month on a house on the lake or a month at a farmhouse set on acres of wide-open land in Oregon Pinot Noir wine country. Maybe a month in coastal Spain. Mostly though, I’ve dreamed about having protected time to rest, read as much as I want, reflect, and relax with my kids.
So when I joined the Coffee + Crumbs team in June, it was a happy bonus to get an actual sabbatical.
This past month, I slept in, read juicy rom-coms and psychological thrillers, beach bummed with my crew, and checked items off our summer bucket list. I took naps, binged watched High Seas and largely stayed off social media.
We’re shifting into a new season now, with the quicker back-to-school pace replacing the rambling summer tempo, but I’ve learned a few lessons from sabbatical this time around.
PROTECT SLEEP
I need a lot of it… more time than I wish I could get by on. While summer nights had me heading to bed later (and sleeping in the next morning), the hours I need have roughly remained the same (around 9 hours, if you’re wondering). I have a sleep mask, bedtime lotion, silky pj’s and a wind-down routine that is an hour long, and I absolutely need all of those things for a good night’s sleep, plus the A/C set to 69°. This was a priority over sabbatical and will remain one into the busy fall ahead.
TITHE MY TIME
After reading Ordering Your Private World (highly recommend for sabbatical or sabbath), I realized that I need a large block of time each day to pray, study, reflect and write, and ideally—I need that block of time first thing in the morning.
I call this my power hour, and I think of it like tithing, but with time.
Because my brain wakes up so much quicker than my body does, giving myself time first thing in the morning to process ideas, practice prayer, read my Bible and get organized for the day feels absolutely necessary.
For the first half of sabbatical, we were still in slow-start mode because my kids didn’t have to be at camp until nine. Some days I would miss this time—going from sleeping straight into the activities of the day—and I paid for it mentally and emotionally. I felt out of sorts, like I jumped into a CrossFit competition without any sort of training or warm-up.
When I start the day in the quiet—free from inputs, distractions, and noise—I feel more like myself, more enthusiastic about my day, more present in my day, and more able to roll with the punches. My 5 a.m. glass of cold brew with whole milk and a spoonful of brown sugar helps, too.
Go ON DATE NIGHTs
Something about the combination of long, summer nights; slower (for me) workdays; and extra time home with the kids made going out for date nights feel more doable. Sabbatical allowed for a restful month which lead to a more restful relationship. The pressure was off this month to work on our marriage, so we ended up having more fun. Biweekly date nights are on the calendar for the rest of the year.
WEEKNIGHTS ARE FOR FUN, TOO
On a whim one Tuesday, we went to the movies for the first time in a long time. I reserved seats in the afternoon, and after dinner we headed to the theater down the street to watch the Jungle Cruise. We brought our son’s friend with us, and his mom stocked us with candy. Each kid had their own cushy recliner seat in the middle of the theater with their own tray of extra buttered popcorn and box of Sour Patch Kids, their eyes transfixed on the screen, arms elbow deep in popcorn. I wasn’t bored. I wasn’t distracted. There was no where else I would rather be. This fall, I want to hold space for things like spontaneous movie nights or weeknight trips to Dave & Buster’s. I want to be fully present for play and not just for work.
CLEAN HOUSE, CALMER LIFE
Midway through July, in preparation for our annual family gathering aka Cousin Camp 2021, I deep-cleaned and decluttered the pretty much the entire house. My sister told me that my house looked like a model home, and it made me smile for days because I worked so dang hard for two straight weeks getting the house in order. When sabbatical rolled around in August, I felt like I could rest I wasn’t constantly tripping over clutter and broken toys. I didn’t have to spend energy having to figure out where to put things. I just had to execute in maintenance mode. Less energy spent managing my physical space meant more energy for playing and projects.
IT IS YOU THAT HOLDS US TOGETHER
The first half of sabbatical for me felt like I imagined it would—full of rest, a wide open calendar, possibility. The second half of sabbatical, in the busyness of my older boys started school, the chaos of a half-done exterior paint project, and the start of fall activities, it started to feel that sabbatical was starting to reveal what was broken. It revealed my anger when circumstances weren’t what I expected them to be. It revealed my frustration at my long list of unfinished projects and my propensity to rely on my own capacity. Sabbatical reminded me of the song that I’ve had on repeat this summer is Hold Us Together by H.E.R. and Tauren Wells:
You're the keeper, protector
It is You that holds us together
When everything else fails us
It is You that holds us together