A birthday collection of 35 lessons and favorite things

I turned 35 last month, and in the spirit of reflecting on the past year, I made a (long) list: 34 lessons and favorites/recommendations with one word to grow on.

Looking back … and looking ahead.

1. Lululemon Align leggings. These were the MVPs of 2021. In the spring of 2021, I left my full-time job/career to pursue new dreams and be more present for my boys, trading in business casual for a uniform of … athleisure. These leggings are my go-to day-to-day wear. If you ever see me in jeans on a weekday, it’s because I have a meeting that didn’t happen on Zoom.

2. Outdoor time. This was the year we joined the SUP club! We’re embracing the SoCal lifestyle and being more intentional about our outdoor time: at the mountains, on the trails, and in the ocean, all of it.

First surf lesson!

3. Minimalism. This book by Shira Gill is motivating me to make all the edits to our personal living space. A goal I had for 2021 was to completely organize and declutter our home, and we didn’t quite get there. One of my goal’s for the first 12 weeks of 2022 (see below) is to get completely organized—finances, belongings, business. Part of reaching this goal means buying a whole lot less (I’m considering buy days, where I only buy/shop on those designated days to reduce impulse spending/transactions to categorize) and using what we already have a whole lot more.

4. The 12 Week Year. The Go & Tell Gals team introduced me to this book via their newsletter, and I’m all over it. One thing that did not work for me last year was having too many big goals that weren’t realistic given my time (read: too many volunteer commitments, not enough childcare). This year, I’ve condensed, focused, and limited my goals to *hopefully* make more progress. I’ve also scheduled goal-free weeks and sabbatical time (the entire month of December).

5. PowerSheets. I use these alongside a day planner, and I love having the extra dedicated space to reflect, count the fruit, and keep track of habits. And of course I bought all the accessories—matching washi tape! stickers! All the planner products bring me so much joy, I can’t help it. P.s. they are all super discounted right now!

6. Charcuterie. Charcuterie boards blew up in 2021! I’m sure it’s a trend that will fizzle out eventually, but who knows? It’s hard to go wrong with meats, cheeses, and rosemary crackers. 

Dave’s birthday charcuterie board (i.e. our entire kitchen island).

7. Target gift card sales. I’ve learned this past year that it makes me so much happier to give gifts rather than buy things for myself, so when Target has their 10% off gift cards sales (usually November/December), my hubs and I swoop up the limit ($500 each), and they go a long way for birthdays, teacher gifts, etc.

8. Peloton. I know, it’s cliche. But I love having the workout option. I LOVE that I can track my minutes spent on it annually (shooting for 4,000 this year), and I love having the option to work out with friends (hello, Tues/Thurs 5 am club!). I’ve also been hopping on the bike while I listen to audio books (this one had me gripping the handlebars).

9. Birthday trips. For the last two years, the hubs and I have gone up to the Russian River Valley for the weekend of/before my birthday, and it’s been the best, most soul-replenishing retreat. This year, we stayed in downtown Healdsburg, walked to great restaurants and coffee right outside our hotel door, perused art galleries and stopped at the cutest baby shop to shop for a friend. We even went hiking before hopping on the quick flight back home. While we’re gone, the kids have the time of their life with Grandma (they still talk about it), so it’s a win-win.

10. I learned how to install a stair runner! I meant to write a blog post on this, make a reel, but then I semi-quit social media and got busy with real life, so we’ll just skip to the final product. Voila!

11. Sleep vitamins. I think the tryptophan in these gummies might be the magic ingredient that knocks me out. Or maybe it’s the “proprietary sleep blend.” Whatever it is, it works. Taking these vitamins is an official part of my bedtime routine.

12. All the notebooks. I can’t help it with the paper products—I just love them. I start the day with this prayer journal. I use this Rifle Paper Co. for Target spiral notebook for book notes and a Sugar Paper notebook (thick paper, classic cover) for longer-form notes for essays, blog posts, etc. I bought a set of these bullet journal notebooks for my weekly plans, a la the 12 Week Year.

13. This set of Le Pens is everything. I’ve color-coded the crap out of all my aforementioned notebooks. Hands down, Le Pens are the best colored pens out there. (I’m planning to share more about my color-coding system in my newsletter — sign up here, and I’ll send your a free digital planner page, too!)

14. I could probably do a whole post on how I’ve been slowly updating (and upgrading) my skincare routine, but a couple favorites that I now have on subscription are from Beautycounter: the goldilocks of moisturizers and the creamiest of eye creams.

15. This hanging toiletry bag (in medium) has worked so well on all our overnighters and weekend getaways this past year. We have a couple of bigger vacations planned for this year, and I think this bag will work just as well, even holding full-size bottles!

16. Another MVP of the latter half of 2021: this North Face pullover. It’s cropped and cozy and pairs well with my Align pants. What more can a girl ask for?

17. Bible study time. I’ve really appreciated Jen Wilkin’s and Kelly Minter’s studies this past year and look forward to finishing the Better study and starting the Encountering God book (on spiritual disciplines!). Working through studies with a clear weekly/daily structure works well for my personality.

18. Joining the Coffee + Crumbs team has truly been one of the unexpected blessings of this year. I love these women and being, as my sister says, “a creative at heart.”

19. My writing group/mastermind. Jodie, Simone, and now Neidy are some of my favorite people, and our calls every month bring me so much joy. I’ve learned so much from each of them.

20. Coffee all day, everyday. Preferably in this tumbler that goes with me from desk to car to kitchen island counter.

21. Elise Joy’s goal tracker is my jam. I’m working on being—as Ashlee and Katie put it—in “good writing shape.” I wish there was a training plan I could follow for that (“couch to book proposal in 10 weeks”??) even though I think each session would have the same directive: butt in chair; write. Last year, I made really outcome-oriented goals, and this year, I’m making the goal just putting in the time, even when the outcomes are not things that other people can see.

22. Crochet projects! I love me a project, and especially crochet because stitch by stitch, you can see your progress. (It’s the perfect hobby for a 3, IMO.) This past year, I made a velvet pig for my niece, a doll set with an entire wardrobe for my goddaughter and am currently working on a blanket for my bestie. These projects have brought me so much joy, and I can’t wait to take on more this next year.

23. I’m committed to growing creatively this next year and learning as much as I can about interior design (and other good things on Masterclass). We stayed at the Proper Hotel in Santa Monica this past July, so I have a fresh appreciation for Kelly Wearstler and her design perspective.

24. Our local library. My favorite rhythm that we established this past year has been walking with my younger two boys to the library on Tuesday/Thursday mornings. Being out in the sunshine, appreciating nature, and also getting new books to read is a triple-win in my book.

25. Start with the easiest thing; start at the easiest place. I’m learning to remind myself constantly: it doesn’t have to be hard. I used to think until I “ate the frog” (i.e. did the hardest part of the project), I couldn’t work on anything else. Now, I know that when I’m feeling daunted, I should start with the easiest possible next task: wipe down the counter, log onto the website, label the donations box, open the spreadsheet. I can build my focus/flow by just taking the smallest next right step.

26. Classical music while cleaning. I finally bought a good bluetooth speaker because Alexa just does not work for me, and I’ve been playing music so much more. Classical and worship music in the morning sets a calm tone for the rest of the day (and with three boys, our house gets crazy enough!).

27. Two date nights a month. 2020 was hard on our marriage. I was managing a full-time job, three kids doing school at home, and doing the majority of the housework and maintenance. I finally reached my tipping point at the beginning of 2021, and we implemented some changes. Mainly: one, an ideal week schedule that designated shared parenting responsibilities and blocked out my personal time, and two, standing date nights on the calendar. We try one weeknight out a month with grandparent help and one marriage matters event. Now that my youngest is three, I’m excited to add Parents Night Out (via the YMCA) to the rotation and breakfast dates during school hours.

28. Keeping track of dreams come true. The practice of regularly remembering all the things I’ve dreamed of that I now have (a white, Spanish-style house with arched doorways and natural light; a personal library of books; my very own trio of boys; a writing group … ) reorients my perspective to gratitude and reminds me of God’s faithfulness.

29. Focus. After leaving my job, I committed to several (too many) volunteer positions. Lately, there hasn’t been a single evening where I haven’t had a meeting, an event or family plans. After tracking my time, I’m recognizing that it’s not really the amount of time that I’m spending on each of these commitments that’s costing me—it’s having to switch, several times a day, between so many different roles and responsibilities. The opportunity cost of diverting energy to too many commitments is my ability to do deep work. In this next year, my goal is to keep the family plans, work, and creativity and drop almost everything else.

30. Noise-canceling headphones. I use this over-the-ears pair when I’m working and/or writing because it’s a visual cue to the kids to not interrupt me and AirPods for outdoor walks/runs or listening to a book in bed.

31. 5 a.m. time. This early morning time is a necessity in my life. There is no other quiet time in our house with three little boys (and I wouldn’t change that). Deep work has become glaringly important to me in the last year, but so has simple “being” time.

32. Semi-quitting social media. I feel like I can’t fully engage in two different worlds at the same time. I’ve made so many friends on social media, so I don’t hate it, but also, I’ve reached (or maybe recognized?) my limit this past year on how deep I can go in my own thought process and longer-form work while also maintaining the short-form, frequent engagement that social media requires. Anne Bogel recently wrote about how when life gets busy, she gets quiet on social media, and that’s the same for me, too.

33. My fanny pack. I wear this all day every day and have even convinced a couple friends to jump on the bandwagon. My keys and wallet stay in the bag at all times, and because the bag stays attached to me, I don’t worry about forgetting it at the park or grocery store.

34. Last year, I followed Katie Walter’s example and asked the Holy Spirit for a birthday gift. I asked for joy and—looking back on my camera roll and journal entries—I can see how joy-filled this last year actually was. This year, I’ve asked the Holy Spirit for love: the kind of love that sees someone as they really are and accepts them. The kind of love that requires lots of margin and the ability to slow down, to fully inhabit the present moment. The kind of love that requires less doing and more being. The kind of love embodied in this new year’s benediction.

35. A word to grow on (my word for this year): fruitful. I have an obsession with all things (meyer) lemon. My parents have the most bountiful meyer lemon tree in their backyard, so meyer lemons forever symbolize abundance and fruitfulness in my mind. My prayer this year is for fruit, to see some of the proverbial seeds that I’ve planted actually grow.

That’s it, friends! Just a very long list to ease my way back into the blogosphere (I’m shooting to publish 12 posts this year). If you create your own list, will you link to it in the comments? I’d love to read.